Day 38 of 49: Be humble continued
How about a game of connect the dots?
Theme for Day 38: Be humble.
Hugely grateful for a pain-free day! After the last two days nursing an aching head, today felt heavenly!
That final stretch.
Can I be candid?
The last few days I’ve brushed past a ‘gatvol* with this 49-day commitment already’ guest, quite a couple of times. I’ve heard mutterings, ‘It’s enough already! I want to be able to eat something when I feel hungry, enjoy a cappuccino in the day, meet a friend for lunch!’
*gatvol: a South Africanism of Afrikaans origin, meaning utterly fed up, irritated, annoyed.
This 49-day journey to date has been the most exceptional experience, so generously abundant in gifts of insights and building the muscles of living presently and celebrating magical moments of all shapes and sizes.
Yet the last few days there’s a part of me that’s been feeling, ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, isn’t it enough already!?’
It’s been fascinating to notice this coming through so close to the end when so much great progress has been made, and humbling to own it too. To make space and allow for that part that wouldn’t give a flying fig to see it all come tumbling down, that would be happy to throw in the towel, that has such a short-sighted view.
In keeping a broader vision, it’s onwards and upwards! I’ve come too far now. I’m committed to getting this done! Honouring my commitment all the way.
Connecting the dots.
Today I felt like I was playing an adult life journey version of connecting the dots, joining a few more in my giant multidimensional personalized lifetime exercise!
I recall when I was a kid doing these. I found the ones that had parts filled in annoying, as I couldn’t see the point if you knew what the picture was before you even got started.
I loved the ones where I had absolutely no idea what was coming.
With each new connection, I’d excitedly try and guess, sometimes feeling I may be on to something only to discover that with the next few connections I was completely off track. I loved the thrill of the unfolding revelation.
It was always magical how there seemed to be a critical mass of dots, a tipping point, where all of a sudden, in an instant, I could see what was becoming!
Today I felt a sense of peace and ease with connecting the next few dots of my life’s game…
At peace with being at the stage of not quite ‘seeing’ what the dots are part of producing, yet absolutely confident that there will come a time, a tipping point, when the sense and purpose of each and every dot and connection along the way will add up and make miraculous awe-inspiring thrilling sense!
Tend to the moments, leave the unfolding to G-d.
I’ve been meaning to send out my invitation for February’s mindfulness gathering since Monday yet each day there have been other ‘to do’s’ that have pushed their way to the higher priority positions.
Today was D-Day as the gathering is now a week away. No more excuses, I needed to get the message out. So I got busy tending to this moment, to this task directly ahead of me in line with something that lights my soul and that I committed to doing with no pressure or expectation of it needing to be an income generating activity.
As the RSVPs started coming through, one was from a business contact. Much of our communication to date has been via WhatsApp, mobile or email. Plans to meet in person have fallen through over the years. In replying to the mindfulness gathering the question was raised as to my current career aspirations with an invitation to arrange a time to connect and explore.
Awesome! A new seedling bursting through the soil…
I mentioned the analogy recently of feeling like the eager experimental farmer.
My reminder, my take away today — my task is to show up to lovingly tend the seeds of each moment. The force responsible for their growth and development, for what they will actually yield and bring forth, is beyond my physical endeavours, it is the Universal glorious flow and Energy of Life. There is an intimate dialogue taking place, a collaboration, a partnership, a flowing through me, not by me.
Thank you, Day 38!